You could do worse than avoiding ‘such’, ‘so’ and similar seemingly superlative yet cruelly non-specific modifiers, as in, “that was such an amazing experience” or “I am so grateful to you”. The world is awash in such words, and they muddy the waters so.
That’s right.
These throwaway intensifiers allow you to express a not-entirely-felt-through, hence unearned, emotion. What else is an example of unearned emotion? Sentimentality.
Kudos, cuz—you’ve just stumbled into a close relationship with the distant relatives of third-rate greeting card material.
Qualifying an experience or a behavior as ‘so’ or ‘such’ allows you to say nothing much about it and move on. You never feel the true degree of the emotion, and so you don’t convey it. You tick a box within yourself or in a virtual manual for a given genre, but never stamp a heart or brand a brain.
Better to be specific. Instead of “that was such an amazing experience”, channel Pretty Woman and say “I almost peed my pants!” That’s right — stream the truth from on high!
What could be more honest than that? Only the naked truth. Given most people’s highly restricted access to apposite vocabulary during moments of genuine amazement, you can’t hew much closer to veritas than to say “I’m speechless.”
As for “I am so grateful to you”, do try to be inclusive and make us all thankful by saying something like “I will never forget this”. Go with “I won’t soon forget this” if you’re a hedge-your-bets kind of guy/gal who suffers from mild affectation, with a side of Anglophilia. And if you’re not, just blurt out “I owe you my firstborn!” and revel in the feelings of release and relief that surely ensue.
Contrarian Agrarian: For those fellas and fillies who aren’t afraid of feelings, here’s what you do. Spin the dial all the way to the non-specific side of the scale and ask a rhetorical question. Instead of “that was such an amazing experience” try “what a rare/beautiful/etc. [you get the idea] thing to be a part of…” Or ask a rhetorical question that can actually take being answered without developing an identity crisis. Instead of “I am so grateful to you”, ask “Do you know just how much this means to me? Thank you!”
The effect will be the same: real, non-clichéd communication that comes across as heartfelt, and even original. I believe they call that ‘authenticity’.
